Me & My Whiteness
Hi, my name is kris. I’m white, and I was born in 1980 to a middle-class family in racially segregated Southern Oregon.
I learned about Black People from the media. I felt alive when I listened to Lionel Richie and Whitney Houston. I wanted to be a part of the Cosby Family and be friends with Oprah.
I knew I wasn’t Black, but I had no idea I was white.
Like so many white “progressive” homes, I was taught to be color-blind; Anti- Race, instead of Anti-Racist.
Then in 1991, at 10 years old, I watched 4 white LAPD officers brutalize Rodney King while 6 or 7 other officers looked on. I watched LA erupt into flames after their acquittal.
I was starting to learn I was white, and race felt dangerous.
In 1998, my senior year in high school, I was glued to the OJ Simpson Trial. As a budding feminist and volunteer at a domestic violence shelter, I was convinced of his guilt and heartbroken by the verdict. But today I see more clearly the complicated nuances of a racist and sexist criminal legal system that makes the outcome of cases like this anything but simple.
Now at age 42, I know I’m white, and I am committed to continuously interrogating the privileges my white skin gives me. As an aspiring ally & accomplice in the fight against white supremacy, I seek to use my social power to address racism wherever and whenever I see it.
My Family
I was raised by two passionate and talented public-school educators: my mom, a special education teacher, my dad, a high school band director. I have one older brother, whose patience with my early struggles I am eternally grateful too.
My gender seems to have perplexed many people ever since I was little. “Are you a boy or a girl?” was a frequent question I received and still receive. I identify as non-binary or genderqueer and go by she or they.
Today I call New London, Connecticut my home. I moved to NL in 2005 in pursuit of love and in 2014 married my best friend, Laura. One year later our family grew,as we were blessed with our brilliant and benevolent daughter, Lize.
Now 20 years old, Lize attends Mt. Holyoke College. They are an artist, musician, athlete, scientist, and philosopher who impresses us daily as they navigate these uncertain times with grace.
I could do none of what I do without my beloveds.
My Experience
Much of my early career was focused on ending gender violence. For twelve years I worked as a Violence Prevention Educator and the Director of Prevention Education at Safe Futures. Annually, my team taught over 5,000 students in some 30+ elementary, middle, and high schools around New London County. Our curriculum supported students to develop the social and emotional skills necessary to communicate one’s feelings assertively, while also responding to others with empathy.
In 2013, I began studying restorative justice and in 2017, I received my master’s degree in Restorative Practices from International Institute for Restorative Practices.
Since 2015, I’ve been offering professional development trainings in restorative practices, circles and restorative justice conferencing to schools seeking to transform their zero tolerance policies from systems of punishment toward processes of community accountability processes which require repair.
In addition to RJ/RP work I provide Anti-Oppression trainings for schools, organizations and communities seeking to address the ways in which systemic oppression exists within their relationships. In this work, I am blessed to assist others in addressing their bias, while continuing to unearth my own.
My dream is to someday soon open a Community Conflict Center in New London to provide residents with access to services and support in resolving and addressing conflict and harm outside of the criminal legal system.
